"I studied and I prayed and I screamed at God and I sobbed in the shower....when you realize you don't know what you believe anymore and that potentially everything that you have believed and you've built your life on and you've built your eternity on...when that is suddenly gone?? You are like...I don't know who I am, I just felt like I was in absolute misery, I didn't know what was up, I didn't know what was down. I knew I was a good person, I knew I had values....but I needed direction."